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Making Changes to My Diet, Fitness, and Health

I am making changes to diet, fitness, and health in my life and I think they are for the better.  Even the I lost the weight five years ago, which you can read about here, I was still thinking of myself as a fat girl.  To be honest with you, I'm fed up with it!

I've never really had a weight problem, other than this one time period of my life that lasted less than two years but, it stuck with me.  It left a fear in me that I can't deny.  I simply cannot allow myself to live in that state of fear and inertia anymore.

Over the past several years, I have made some positive changes in how I look at my body, weight, and overall health.

I stopped weighing myself as much, I gave up my addiction to laxatives (which you can read about here), and I even accepted some things about my body that I can't change.  Those are all good things but I still have a fear-based relationship with food.

Get Rid of Your Weight-Scale For Good!

The number one thing I've been hearing in my head for some time is to either throw or put my weight scale away.  Yesterday, I was deep-cleaning my house, and I put my weight scale in a place that's very difficult for me to reach and get to.

What made me decide this?  Honestly, because even though I've gotten better about weighing myself less, I am still just as much obsessed with my weight as I ever was!

I'm tiny but have gained some weight. I weigh 112 pounds because I couldn't resist the urge to check just one more time.  However, even with knowing that, it hasn't stopped me from thinking about my weight all day long, every single day.  It may not always be at the forefront of my mind but it's there, you know.

Right there, telling me that I'm fat and haunting me.  I can't have that anymore.  I am just to the point in my life where it's time to empower myself and stop telling myself the lies that my mind keeps spinning.

Labeling Foods As "Good" and "Bad"

I have been doing this unconsciously for as long as I can remember.  There is some food that I will always consider "bad" based on my personal morals and ethics, things like meat and dairy.  In my mind still, meat is definitely the bigger villain, while dairy is the lesser of two evils.

While I know that's not completely true, it's a label in my mind that I've somehow managed to hold on to.  In case you haven't figured it out, I'm a vegan.

I went into it for health reasons, came through it in my compassion for animals but, sometimes I feel like a crappy vegan because I have a bit of dairy now and again.

Holding on to dairy is the lesser of two evils has sometimes lead me to do non-vegan things.  This is one label, I'd like to let go of for good, thus I am doing so now!

Why?  Because mama and baby cows are separated at dairy farms and I have compassion for them.  Also, they suffer in numerous other ways that I can't even begin to go into right now.

Just for the record, I don't judge vegetarians or people that are converting from vegetarian to vegan.  It's a process and it takes time.  I also try not to judge meat eaters, even if I don't agree with the path they are taking.  It's myself I'm judging here.

Other labels that tend to abound with me, have to do with bread and pasta.  Something about them makes me "feel" fat.

I rarely have them anyway because I was diagnosed with colitis, back in 2015', which you can read about here.  My point is, if I want a little now and again, even if it's not gluten-free, I'd like to eat it guilt-free.

I am tired of telling myself that everything I eat is "bad" and using that label, with the exception of meat and dairy (again, these are my beliefs).  I am tired of having a bad relationship with food.

I am going to start looking at food as a gift of nourishment from now on.  Why?  Because, that feels good and right to me, and it's kinda the truth.

Go With the Flow of Fitness

As far as fitness goes, I'm changing my old beliefs about that too!  My whole life, I've had this all or nothing attitude when it comes to fitness.  I'm sick of it.

I really prayed over what I could do to get back into fitness and walking, as always, turned out to be the foundation.  It probably doesn't hurt that the weather is beautiful in Florida right now.

Walking in nature has always been my everything but, I don't want to stop there.  I can usually get back into cardio pretty easy, while strength training and stretching are something I do here and there.

I've decided to go with the flow and let my fitness lead me.  I'm feeling happier now.  Walking is a good place to start and getting back into yoga and a combination of strength training, even just 5 or ten minutes a day to start, will be enough to get me going.

Yes, I'm going to just let my fitness be my guide.  As far as rewards go, I think it's the little things that count.  Since I love watching television a lot, especially with The Handmaid's Tale being back on right now, I can use them as rewards.

For example, if I take a walk, I can watch an episode.  If I do a yoga session, I can watch an episode of another favorite show.  I like the idea of just going with the flow and giving myself micro-rewards along the way.

Body Confidence

I really, really struggle with body confidence and sometimes I don't know why I have a great figure.  I'm lucky to be blessed with a tiny, petite body even after having three kids but, alas, even thin people can struggle with how they see themselves.

I hate this about myself and I want to change it.  I'm good at giving advice about body and weight but, it's time I take my own advice.  It's time to admit that I have a nice figure and work with what I have.

I've decided to stop listening to that voice in my head that tells me ugly things about myself.  That same voice has told me that I'm fat when I was 96 pounds, and that same voice has told me, that I'm ugly, when I know I'm really not.

I'm just at an age and point in life, where I don't want to listen to that voice anymore!  That voice is the ego and the ego is a liar.

I'm working on my body confidence by continuing to work on myself as a "whole" person.  Not just one part of me but, all parts of me.  All of those things make up the person that is me.

I'm working on my body confidence by taking walks.  Walks are a literal action step and walking empowers me and infuses me with feelings of well-being and goodness.

I'm working on my body confidence by putting away my weight scale.  I'd throw it away if I could but other people use it.  I am not defined by a stupid number.

I'm working on my body confidence by not counting calories and/or labeling foods as good or bad.  I'm sick of feeling guilty because enjoy eating.  As long as I'm eating healthy and with integrity the majority of the time, there's no reason I can't celebrate the notion of food.

My body is beautiful and my confidence comes from within.  Diet, fitness, and health are an inside job, just like beauty.  I'm ready to take my power back and that's that!

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