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How Self-Love and Romantic Love Go Together

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about this crazy little thing called love.  I can now see how self-love and romantic love go together, hand-in-hand!

First of all, I really do think you have to love yourself first before you can become romantically linked.  Yes, you can meet those guys, the predator type, that are waiting to thrust themselves on a woman that has low self-esteem but, who wants a guy like that?

You'll just wind up in a toxic relationship that is unhealthy for you.  The good thing about unhealthy relationships, as painful as they are, they teach us life lessons.  They show us what we don't want in a man or relationship.

The bad part is, they leave us feeling used, vulnerable, and unlovable.  In order to start preparing us for "the one" we're going to have to have a lot of practice relationships and in some cases, like my own, starter marriages.

Luckily, there are many things we can do to ready ourselves for the right man or woman.  We can start by loving ourselves!  Self-love and romantic love definitely go together because it prepares you for the relationship that's going to stick.

Self-Love:  How to Have It

I wish that I could give you a magic pill that you can take to love yourself but the truth is, self-love takes hard work and dedication.  That's because it's an inside job!  In the beginning, loving yourself might even feel like a lie because you know, deep-down, that you really don't.

The truth is, it starts with you!  Do you really love yourself?  Marinate in that thought for a moment.  I did and I discovered some really scary things about myself.

In my head, I had this voice consistently telling me that I was unlovable, that I wasn't good enough, that I was unworthy, and that I was a loser.  That's just a few of things I was telling myself on a daily basis!

That's why it's so important to get real with yourself right now, at this very moment.  If you don't love yourself, acknowledge it, because that's the first step.  No one can ever really love you unless you love yourself.  #Truth.

Once you know this about yourself, you can begin the process of opening your heart again to love.  Opening your heart to love, lets in self-love too, there's no filter.

Heart Opening Exercise

The key to opening your heart is making a decision to open your heart.  Nothing and no one can interfere with your free will until you make the decision that you are ready to at least open your heart again.

Be good to yourself because this takes great bravery and courage.  When we get hurt, it's human nature to want to become a hermit crab, and go back in our shell and hide.  The shell being our heart, of course.

Once you've made that decision, call upon someone to open it for you!  I highly recommend working with the Goddess Freya.  She is known for her sexual confidence, this is true but, she has a sweet, sparkling, playful, valentine's energy about her when you call.

When you call on her, you can simply say it out loud or write it in a letter and burn it like I do.  Just ask her to open your heart and to make it more receptive.

Ask her to keep your heart open, as it works to try to close itself because it naturally wants to return to the state that it was in previously.

In addition to calling on Freya (or the spirit helper of your choosing), you'll want to carry rose quartz crystals on you, as well as lepidolite.  I wear my crystals in my bra, that way they are close to my heart.  This will activate the love key of your life even faster so hold on tight!

Work on Loving Yourself

From this point on, work on loving yourself in every way you can.  In order to do that, you'll have to keep getting real with yourself time and again.

Be aware of times when you start to close your heart up.  You can usually feel it.  What made it close up?  What were you thinking at that moment?  What emotions or feelings were you having?

Whenever your heart closes, call Goddess Freya to your side.  She will be there in a heartbeat!  She doesn't just help with sex and romantic love, she helps with self-love.

Write down a list of ways that you can love yourself, to ready yourself for the romantic kind of love.  If you knew there was a guy coming into your life, what would you do differently?

Maybe you'd groom more, workout more, eat healthier, or take your job more seriously, or perhaps pay off that debt.  Make a commitment to start improving your life for yourself and your new partner.
What you do to love yourself will attract your soulmate to you but it all starts with self-love.  First comes self-love then romantic love!

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